The Problem with the Problem
Recently we had to make a difficult decision, to return to the small town that I came from or to stay in the city. This decision consumed us.
The more we talked about it, the less clear the decision became.
The problem with the problem was we thought that one of our choices was going to be better than the other. There were pros and cons for both. No lists were longer or better than the other and no one idea struck us as being ‘the’ solution.
Then I read the attached article and watched a TED talk by Dr Ruth Chang and things changed. We made the decision and moved on quickly. Everything seemed to fall into place and life was good again.
So what was the change?
We learned that difficult decisions do not have a better choice at all. If something was going to be glaringly better it would not be difficult. We also learned that difficult decisions are not necessarily the big decisions. The key is to back yourself by giving agency to what you choose. This is the key that influences the happiness of our moments, in our day, in our attitude and approach to life in general rather than the actual choice itself.
The secret to making difficult decisions is to decide which decision we will give agencyto. Once we decided which decision we would go with, all problems were solved.
So much time and energy can go into the decision making process and this is where conflict, unnecessary angst and stress can occur.
Whether it be business, personal or pleasure, make the difficult decision and give agency to it.
Do not look back, move forward and put your energy into supporting your decision rather than questioning it.
Problem solved, decision made, move on and give agency and positive energy to your decision.
It’s empowering, it’s liberating and the more you do it, the happier you will become.
In the words of the song ‘I did it my way’ ; the more practiced you become in the concept of free will and giving agency to your decisions, the happier your days will be.